The Death of Common Sense
Lori Borgman
Three yards of black fabric enshroud my computer terminal. I am mourning the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.
His obituary reads as follows:
Common Sense, aka C.S., lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was, his birth records were long ago entangled in miles and miles of bureaucratic red tape.
Known affectionately to close friends as Horse Sense and Sound Thinking, he selflessly devoted himself to a life of service in homes, schools, hospitals and offices, helping folks get jobs done without a lot of fanfare, whooping and hollering. Rules and regulations and petty, frivolous lawsuits held no power over C.S.
A most reliable sage, he was credited with cultivating the ability to know when to come in out of the rain, the discovery that the early bird gets the worm and how to take the bitter with the sweet. C.S. also developed sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adult is in charge, not the kid) and prudent dietary plans (offset eggs and bacon with a little fiber and orange juice).
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, the Technological Revolution and the Smoking Crusades, C.S. survived sundry cultural and educational trends including disco, the men's movement, body piercing, whole language and new math.
C.S.'s health began declining in the late 1960s when he became infected with the If-It-Feels-Good, Do-It virus. In the following decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal and state rules and regulations and an oppressive tax code. C.S. was sapped of strength and the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, criminals received better treatment than victims and judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional baseball and golf.
His deterioration accelerated as schools implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of 6-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing classmates, a teen suspended for taking a swig of Scope mouthwash after lunch, girls suspended for possessing Midol and an honor student expelled for having a table knife in her school lunch were more than his heart could endure.
As the end neared, doctors say C.S. drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding regulations on low-flow toilets and mandatory air bags. Finally, upon hearing about a government plan to ban inhalers from 14 million asthmatics due to a trace of a pollutant that may be harmful to the environment, C.S. breathed his last.
Services will be at Whispering Pines Cemetery. C.S. was preceded in death by his wife, Discretion; one daughter, Responsibility; and one son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers, Half-Wit and Dim-Wit.
Memorial Contributions may be sent to the Institute for Rational Thought.
Farewell, Common Sense. May you rest in peace.
Common sense is not so common — Voltare
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Blog Archive
-
►
2018
(2)
- ► 03/25 - 04/01 (2)
-
►
2013
(5)
- ► 08/04 - 08/11 (2)
- ► 06/30 - 07/07 (1)
- ► 06/23 - 06/30 (2)
-
►
2012
(2)
- ► 08/05 - 08/12 (1)
- ► 06/03 - 06/10 (1)
-
►
2011
(3)
- ► 11/20 - 11/27 (1)
- ► 08/07 - 08/14 (1)
- ► 07/24 - 07/31 (1)
-
►
2010
(3)
- ► 11/21 - 11/28 (1)
- ► 11/07 - 11/14 (2)
-
▼
2009
(916)
- ► 06/14 - 06/21 (2)
- ► 06/07 - 06/14 (11)
- ► 05/17 - 05/24 (2)
- ► 05/03 - 05/10 (50)
- ► 04/26 - 05/03 (4)
- ► 04/19 - 04/26 (90)
- ► 04/12 - 04/19 (32)
- ► 04/05 - 04/12 (15)
- ► 03/29 - 04/05 (160)
- ► 03/22 - 03/29 (107)
- ► 03/15 - 03/22 (124)
- ► 03/08 - 03/15 (37)
- ► 03/01 - 03/08 (19)
- ► 02/22 - 03/01 (7)
-
▼
02/15 - 02/22
(256)
- Jeffrey Toobin
- WE GET LETTERS
- JUSTIFICATION AND COVERUP.
- TURKEY
- a nation of cowards
- Eric Holder’s confrontational speech
- Investigating Bush's Crimes
- Stimulus: Good Money After Bad
- next Israeli government
- Bill Gaines, Harvey Kurtzman
- MAD Magazine
- Graphic Novelists; MAD Magazine;R. CrumbYou can te...
- OBAMA INAUGURATION TAKE DOWN
- THESE STATEMENTS BY AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT ARE SHAM...
- standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and p...
- Abolish Taxes on Capital Gains.
- no bottom for world financial "collapse
- standing pat, of protecting narrow interests
- when imagination is joined to common purpose
- the time has come to set aside childish things.
- On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope...
- OUR COLLECTIVE FAILURE???
- ANOTHER BULLSHIT ARTICLE ABOUT HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS
- ANNOTATED INAUGURAL SPEECH. I'M NOT FUNNY. DONT J...
- protecting narrow interests
- Let it be said
- OBAMA SOARING RHETORICAL LIES 3
- GREAT GIFT OF FREEDOM
- do astronomers deaden themselves to the starry uni...
- By E. LDOCTOROW City of God
- GENIUSA Mosaic of One HundredExemplary Creative Mi...
- Arthur Koestler
- Mort Sahl
- I Lied About Making $80,000 Working From Home... A...
- Smoove B
- The Israeli Conflict Is Far Too Nuanced And Comple...
- We Should Get That Guy Who Does A Half-Assed Job T...
- Nation's Blacks Creeped Out By All The People Smil...
- more equal and less rapacious.
- the choice between our safety and our ideals.
- HOT AIR.
- with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upo...
- INAUGURATION SPEECH
- another republican fiction
- EMPTY RHETORIC. BENEATH CONTEMPT
- THE DIGITAL DELIVERY OF EDUCATION
- Drug War
- Fascists Under Beds
- preventive detention for terrorist suspects
- ANOTHER STUPID NEWSWEEK FILLER ON HAPPINESS
- 200 SELECTED BOOKS.
- The 11 Best Foods You Aren’t Eating
- “Valkyrie,
- Presidential power
- Tom Waits:
- the culture wars
- The Death of Common Sense
- The Death of Common Sense 3
- self-esteem.
- Was There a Cultural Revolution c.1958-c.1974?
- defining deviancy down.
- UFO theories
- a second Great Depression.”---Paul Krugman
- JIMMY KIMMEL
- ‘Going Nuts in Washington’Riveted by Barack’‘Ten M...
- JAY LENO
- DAVID LETTERMAN
- Feb 19th 2009
- Monologue
- Obamaisms
- America, 1908,
- The Reality of Religion: Putting things in context
- Michael Ledeen
- Illustrating history's essential promise
- Are you better off?
- George Will
- “We are all socialists now.”
- Dark Energy: Astronomers Hot on Trail of Mysteriou...
- find topic pages about people, places, organizatio...
- AM RADIO AND THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE
- favors only the prosperous
- America bigger than the sum of our individual amb...
- INAUGURATION SPEECH IS PURE CEREMONY
- in a decent society, quality medical attention is ...
- a return to these truths.
- Americans will share a regret about recent mistake
- Why Christmas Matters
- New Deal measures
- that great gift of freedom?
- obama bullshit
- DOUBLETALK
- black men and women wielding power.
- Obama speaks.
- we were tested we refused to let this journey end
- THIS SPEECH MEANS NOTHING
- .----ROBERT BORK
- this new day in America
- 'What Liberal Media?'
- Take the Canoli
- 'The Kennedy Assassination Tapes'
No comments:
Post a Comment